Ask an International Guy of Mystery

Dear International Guy of Mystery,

I think you would have to admit that the greatest mystery in the world is man and woman love. Why do we act like fools in love? How can we be torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool? Who wrote the doggone Book of Love, anyway, for Pete's sake? These questions haunt me.
I value your advice, so please tell me what to do. I am in love with two men, John and George, but I can't decide which of them to marry. Please tell me who will be the lucky man.
Confused in Coburg, Oregon

Dear Confused in Coburg,

You will marry George.

John will be the lucky man.

International Guy of Mystery